Damn Those Third Chances
by Fae 206
Summary: My name is Jason Todd and I used to be Red Hood until I took a hit meant for my dear friend Bruce. Turns out that they wanted to make the bat into a pup and when I took the hit it turned me to my fifteen year old not yet exploded self. If that's the case then how did I think I could figure out my life by teaming up with John Constantine? Why the hell did Bruce even ask me to do so?
1. Chapter 1 - Given the Choice

**AN:** I'm always a little scared at writing comic book fics because I know there's always going to be people out there who dislike the way I handle a character and endless facts that I just don't know but reading Red Hood and the Outlaws in the Rebirth line spoke to me. I hope you guys enjoy and sorry if I offend anyone 😊

 **Damn Those Third Chances**

 **Chapter One – Given the Choice**

I scan the scene for all the possible outcomes just as he had taught me.

Dick's down. Damian is still active but it doesn't look as if he's going to last that much longer. I'm imagine that the whole Batman Task Force Number who gives a damn ain't going to be bringing the cavalry here any time soon and there are too many of these damn things around. Who knew that by working together, Batman was going to be brought down by robot penguins and glitter covered masqueraders. Whole thing is too cheesy, too nauseating for me. Then in the cloud of smoke I can see him.

I don't think it's the real thing, neither does Bruce to say the least. Ra'as Al Ghul fighting aside robot penguins? Give me a break. I've died and been resurrected and still think this smoke and mirror thing is really…well I think that if I were to smoke after this, I couldn't dream of achieving such a trip on my own. I hear Damian's body crash to the ground and I freeze.

Somehow Bats isn't reacting well, his movement is sloppy. I'm not the smartest Robin. I'm not the most trained or most popular but hell, even with this red hood on I'm able to see the world and what I'm seeing right now isn't good. I see a switch out of the corner of my eyes.

God damn it.

No, this thing just can't be that easy. It's never that easy and if it was then it'd be Dick who caught hold of it. I grab hold of my adrenaline and knock a few enemies down on my way to this blasted vigilantism. As I take hold of it, a strange whistle goes out and everything stops moving, the smoke clears and ahead of me I see some girl I ain't ever seen before, definitely come across her before in a dark alley.

My eyes narrow in on her hand, something there and I feel strange. I want to call out to him but I don't think he'd hear me. Damn it. You only get one second chance at this life, Jason, I tell myself. You really want to waste it?

I don't need to pause or even second guess myself. I jump in front of that dear old Batman and feel something like a gem being forced into my body. With the pH level in this thing, this might be the word acid trip I've ever been on and having gone through my life, well that's a lot to say.

I see the woman disappear as if she were a freaking hologram and I look up at Bruce who is staring at me horrified, he's still surveilling the area but I give him a thumbs up. Heh, always a time for humor 'cause come on, nobody's gonna waste anything getting freaking Jason Todd back to life for another go around.

"Told ya, I was a good one," I say hoping he'll be able to see the smile through the hood.

The first time I died was because of a creepy clown with a wardrobe issue but this time I chose it. I feel my eyes slip closed as finally I see that Bruce still cares about me, even after all of the things that I've done and how messed up I am. He still cares deeply about what happens to me.

"You idiot," Bats says before turning his attention to Damian and Dick. Wants to make sure his favorite sons are okay I guess. "Hold on, we're going to get you help," he tells me.

"Nah, it's cool," I tell him feeling myself weaken and he stares at me as if I'm insane. "Good to know the reason I got brought back was to heh, save your god damn life," I laugh. Wow, maybe I really forgot what dying felt like because in my screwed up mind, coming back to life just to save someone else's is pretty hilarious.

 **End of Chapter One**

 **Thank you for reading**


	2. Chapter 2 - On a Scale of 15 to 20

**AN: Thank you for your understanding and support to those reading this fic. Next chapter is where Constantine will be introduced**

 **Chapter Two: On a Scale of Fifteen to Twenty**

Am I dead?

Well, yeah, I think I'm dead because I don't think any of this craziness were to happen if I wasn't dead as a result of it. I gave up my life for my mentor and father figure. Maybe he doesn't care about me as an adopted son anymore but I can't imagine him never caring. I care about him deeply as if he were the only parent not to disown me. It just takes my mind to get a little crazy and for an explosion to catapult me into lunacy.

Don't spread it around but there's maybe only ten or so people that I'd actually die for the way I chose to do so for Bruce. Would I die for Artemis? Yeah, most likely. I mean, I know it's stupid but the idea of team work must matter to me a lot. I doubt B would ever let me give my life for his. He doesn't really have that type of life expectancy the rest of us do.

Okay. So what do I remember from the last time I died? Well, this coherence of thought isn't it. So, what _do_ I remember.

"Master Jason," I hear and crack a smile. Wow, must have really earned some brownie points there at the end if I'm meeting _the_ Alfred Pennyworth in the afterlife. Well, I must have been gone for some time 'cause he was pretty alive the last time I saw him.

I open my eyes and blink in confusion. I'm not dead? Then what the heck happened, what was that machine supposed to do or did Bruce save me? I don't know how that's possible, that weapon hit me damn hard.

"Is he awake?" I hear Bruce ask or is it Batman? I may have coherency in my thinking but I am certainly not at the point where I can distinguish between the two of them.

"We've been waiting a while for this," Damian says and I don't know if I should be calling him Robin or not. "Well maybe not him, the way he is now."

"Shut it," Dick tells him and I don't know what to say. I'm surrounded in one of the Wayne Manor guest rooms and I can barely keep my eyes open. What kind of weird crap went on after I was hit? I feel cold and weak. Have I been here for a while? How the hell does my body look, I glance to the side and see the hood there. Wait, did Alfred actually wash it? Well props to him for being able to clean it without disgust or maybe he worked through that shame.

"Nobody else is to touch him except for Alfred and I," Bruce says and I look up at him. I feel so much smaller and weaker now. I'm definitely having flashbacks to my death by the hands of the Joker. Bruce comes to my side and I can see that worry on his face, that guilt. "How do you feel?" he asks me as a father might ask their kid.

"Damn it, Bruce," I tell him as I try to get up but he holds me down. "Does it matter how _I_ …." I pause. My voice sounds different. It sounds more like Robin's voice than Red Hood's. Am I that delirious? No, of course I'd remember things from that time, the dark day, because I just thought I'd died.

"Jason," he says as he looks at me concerned, "I'm not sure what that was that you were hit with but you have to listen to me carefully. What do you last remember?"

"Being shot, trying to protect you," I laugh. Wow, my voice does sound weird.

"And before that, before the fight?" Bruce continues the questions and I see the way he's looking at me. He's usually hiding his emotions with that cowl but he looks worried. I've seen this worry recently, with what happened to Tim, him choosing for the aim at a single target. I cough. Am I that messed up that I can't be an outlaw anymore. What was in that drug?

"Arguing with Artemis," I tell him honestly, "Something about whether I should be in the front of the battle or whether she could have taken them alone," I tell him and feel extremely nauseous. Bruce hums and nods.

"That weapon that was used on you must have some sort of chemical effect," he tells me as he still holds me to the bed. "I'm running a full analysis on your blood work but it had some unexpected change in you."

"Turned me into a villain you're going to have to send away to Arkham and never visit," I laugh and Bruce frowns.

"If you went to Arkham this time, I would definitely come to see you. If you were to be hurt in the same way Harvey Dent, Kirk Langstrom, or Basil Karlo were then I would come and visit you. You stepped up in your line of duty and sacrificed your life to save mine. That kind of action would never mean my rejection of you but no, you haven't turned into a super villain. It's…you're fifteen," he says and I look at him as if he's insane.

"Like the score that you'd give my stupidity?" I ask him and he shakes his head but Damian laughs at that.

"I'd say that's accurate," he comments and I hear Dick hum disapprovingly at that.

Bruce kneels down beside my bed and I wonder if that's how I feel smaller and weaker. No, being turned into a fifteen-year-old wouldn't be possible. Okay. So maybe anything is possible if I'm able to be brought back from the dead but becoming a teen again?

"Jason, I need you to be careful until you have retrained your body," he tells me concerned. "Until then, I want to take you off the streets and put you out of action for a while. I have to ask as your legal guardian, but I do respect your adult mind, you need to make the decision for yourself but please accept my concern for you."

"Never give me that option," Damian comments again and I stare at Bruce as if he's speaking complete bull.

"That's because as your father I have the right to ground you," Bruce tells him and I look at Alfred who is holding a mirror. I gently push myself up and stare at my reflection.

Okay. This is seriously weird. I look like I did just before I died and I reach for the mirror to take a closer look. I can understand Bruce's concern but what the hell am I looking at!? "This can't be happening," I say as I try to get out of the bed. I definitely feel shorter. I try to take a step forward and my body acts like a ragdoll as it hits the floor.

"Master Jaso-" Alfred says as he gets near me but Bruce holds him back, picking me up himself and putting me into the bed.

"Alfred," Bruce says turning towards his butler and close friend, _our_ close friend, "Could you bring up some food? Soup, perhaps. I think that Jason would do better with something in his body to give him strength."

"That's really not necessary," I try and argue and Bruce gives me that look that tells me to follow his advice. I pull the blankets over me again. Is he going to continue to treat me like the brat I now look like. I reach for my hood and Bruce looks at me, he appears pained and I know he can read my thoughts. I want to go out there, be Red Hood again.

"I'm pulling you out of the street," he says, "If you decide to be Red Hood right now then you will have to do so outside of the Bat family. The only way I can protect you is if you are no longer an outlaw." I freeze. Did he just tell me what to do? That hasn't happened for a really long time, unlike the rest of his boy scouts, I can take damn fine care of myself.

"I thought that I was already operating away from the Bat family," I reply and he frowns.

"Could I have a moment alone with Jason," Bruce requests and Alfred is the first to reply.

"Master Richard, Master Damian, if you would care to follow me," he says and I hear Dick laugh but also hear some concern in his voice. He's been like a big brother to me on numerous occasions. Our history stretches back for years. A few times I've tried to restrain _him_ , not very successfully though.

"Get some rest," Dick advises me before he and Damian leave and I hear Bruce's deep sigh. He runs his hand through his hair and I can tell his stress level. He's going to go prematurely gray before too long.

"Jason," he tries to tell me in a gentle manner. "I can understand your eagerness to go back onto the streets to continue your work but it's dangerous enough for you before this…incident. Pretending to be one of the bad guys whilst operating under the idea of the bat. I can't risk you doing that again," he says honestly. "I know you don't feel a part of this family, I apologize for my part in that but I do have to ask you to get back into shape before rushing out there."

I see the pain in his expression. He is seriously concerned about me. I don't want to remind him that even as Robin to his Batman, I was doing things that the average adult wouldn't be able to do. I don't think it's right. Not when he looks so concerned as he does now. I think that this is the time when -

"I don't want to lose you as we did with Tim," he comments and I look at him. That has really shaken him up.

"I'm the least valuable of the Robin, I'll be fine," I try to convince me and I see him frown and form a fist. He stands up and by his body language I can tell that I said _something_ wrong. It's true though. Of the four of us, I'm just not that valuable. Not to mention other people who have tried to wear the outfit.

"You know that I still care about you, but," he sighs and his shoulders sag. He's really having a hard time with the lack of control of this one, "if you have your own feelings then I can understand that. I want you to take forty-eight hours to consider what is going on here and then we can talk about your decision. Can you give that to me?"

"Sure," I smile weakly, "After all that you've done for me, Bruce, I'll be able to give you that," I tell him and he smiles weakly, his eyes showing that he is in fact getting older.

"Thank you," he tells me with a sadness in his eyes, "You did great work in the line of justice today, proved your strengths as a former Robin," he tells me before leaving me to get some rest. I never thought I'd see him so concerned about me again.


	3. Chapter 3 - I'll Take the Kid

**AN:** I really hope that you enjoy this chapter 😊

 **Chapter Three : I'll Take the Kid**

Bruce has told me to consider going onto the streets again and that I don't have to be the Red Hood. I know that he's worried about my putting myself in danger with such a smaller body but the thing is, he doesn't know what my mind is thinking. I wish that he'd just give me the chance to prove myself but he makes a good point. I do have to train this body a bit.

That's going to be annoying. I've already gone through that whole training part.

It's hard for me to admit that I'm weaker, that my balance and coordination are a bit off, that I wouldn't be able to take down the corrupt members of the underworld like I once could. They'd never take me seriously in this body anyway even with a disguise.

So, what is my life now? Bruce already has a current Robin and Tim's always been the one who is good at the computer work, well him or Barbara.

Think, Jason. You've always been good at making plans so you have to consider your options and get yourself to a point you feel comfortable with. I trust in Bruce, he doesn't think I'm ready to go out crime fighting as much as I want to do so, I don't think so either. I've always been interested in what a suicide mission feels like – and Waller's assignments are not what I'm referring to – but anything with this body is a suicide mission.

Do I feel okay to get up? Well, that's the first step – no pun intended, well maybe pun intended – and I get my feet onto the ground at the side of the bed. I run my hand through my hair again. If I hadn't tried to save Bruce's life, he'd be in my situation and that's most likely what they wanted, Batman to be a child, to be a weak teen who wasn't ready for vigilantism. I can kind of see Alfred's protectiveness if that happened. I'm glad that I was able to save him then, nobody wants a bratty Bruce Wayne plus far too obvious.

So, I get myself standing. I feel all right but it's hardly a comfort.

My next task is to find Brucey, try to figure out a cure for this. Maybe I should get something to eat but my main concern is how to not be a fifteen-year-old. Plus, it wasn't that long ago that Alfred actually brought me something to eat. Heh, those jokes about a growing boy probably are correct. I wander down the halls. So much different than when I was living here, when it was acceptable for me to live here.

I know he cares about me, that's something people close to Bruce know, he does actually care about others, it's why he's never crossed his own lines even though it probably would have worked out better for him. Yet, he cares about his prized robins more. I can accept that.

"If you're looking for something, he's in the cave," Damian tells me and I nod. How can I be so much closer to his age than Bruce's? I always considered Damian as a bratty kid, sure he's Bruce's own son but that doesn't stop him from being one heck of an annoying kid. Now he's around my age and I'm supposed to feel closer to him, feel like we're school friends. Give me a break.

"Yeah, well maybe I was," I shrug, "so thanks."

"It sucks being a kid," Damian continues and I stare at him before turning away, sorry I don't want pity right now. "The fact that you have to do it twice. Well, I'd hate that, especially the way you're underestimated."

"Sure," I tell him. Is he trying to be nice to me? That would be a change, someone in this family actually giving a damn whether I'm alive or dead. Well, they cared about my death that first time it happened but then with the whole losing my mind after the resurrection, yeah, I can see how they wouldn't care too much where my life ended. "Thanks."

He nods before starting to throw something against the wall, fortunately for him it doesn't leave any marks that could give Alfred pause. I make my way down to the cave and take a deep breath as I see Bruce in defense mode. Hopefully this won't backfire on me. I already have enough under my belt, well I think I could benefit from a bit more of a utility belt, shouldn't teens have their own toys.

I notice Bruce look at me for a brief moment before he turns his attention to someone else, seriously this guy earns his place as a top detective, you can never pull one over on him. He's aware of everything.

"Come on, Bats. Now that I've uncovered your identity which is easier than I first thought, my thinking is that you owe me," I hear a British gi—guy speaking and I smell cigarettes. Damn, this body wouldn't even be able to buy those things or alcohol. Give Damian credit, it truly sucks being under age.

"Am I supposed to let you blackmail me?" Bruce says as he folds his arms. "I know that you'd sell me out in a minute. I know of your reputation at least."

"Here's the thing, you give me what I want and the deal is as good as done. No more squawking about your secret. I need a body and one that I can train would be best. I've had my -" as I move forward I see him, the blond hair, the body language that translates into I don't give an F. "Him," he points at me and I stare back at him.

Bruce turns to me, his expression softening for a moment, "No," he says firmly and I look between the two.

"You give me that kid, that one who looks like he's able to be trained and all is forgotten or whatever, I've got better things to occupy my time with," the guy shrugs and I take a step towards him but Bruce spreads his arm out in front of me. Is the guy really that dangerous that Bruce feels I need protecting? Is this because I saved him from becoming a kid, the guy should care about himself some more.

Wait, Jason, you've trained yourself in knowing this kind of guy. Just try to place who it is. I pause before it dawns on me, I've heard of John Constantine before but I didn't know he was in the market for possessing people.

"Are you threatening my fami-" Bruce continues and I look between the two men before giving a nod to Constantine.

I make sure to maintain eye contact with him before nodding, "I'll do it," I say and Bruce looks a little taken aback. At least I can say that I did something that even the Batman didn't expect. This is another way of saving a life.

"See, that's how you make a deal," Constantine says, reaching for another cigarette. I know that there's a part of Bruce's mind wondering how he will ever get the smell out of the cave. I wonder if that need actually is prioritized over me or not. Hard to say with this guy. He reaches for my hand and shakes it.

"Can you at least promise to keep him alive?" Bruce says feeling as if he's lost and I'm sorry but losing me is a lot better than losing his hidden identity, for him to go to prison, for the whole Batman operation to shut down.

"No guarantees," Constantine replies and I see Bruce's body stiffen. Could he really care about me this way or is this just because he feels indebted to me? That's something that I don't even want to consider, Bruce indebted to me. It's painful to even imagine those thoughts.

"Jason, you don't have to do thi-" Bruce argues back but I give him a determined look.

"I'm capable of doing this," I tell him before walking over near Constantine. I take a deep breath and see the concern in Bruce's eyes, you're not hiding your emotions this time, you have to be more strong-jawed and see the funny side of this. You're not losing much so why do you think that you are? "I choose to do this."

"If anything happens, get in contact with me," Bruce tells me before I look at him.

"Just think of it as giving up something without much value. I mean, that's how you think of me, right? If I hadn't saved you from this fate then you wouldn't even care if I lived or died. I'm an outcast, right?" I ask him and Bruce is taken aback. I see the hurt on his face and I realize that those words cut deep. Of course he cares but he shouldn't. I'm a rogue, an outlaw, someone who _shouldn't_ bear too much weight on his life.

"If _anything_ happens," he repeats and Constantine throws his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to his chest.

"I don't wanna let anything happen to him but you know, it's pretty tough out there, I'll do my best but if the situation comes then it comes, nothing you can do about it even in your luxurious lifestyle. Talk about the rich and famous," Constantine says as he gestures to all the expensive technology that Bruce has gathered down here.

"I'll be fine," I try to tell him and Bruce looks at me before nodding.

"Tell me when you are leaving," he says before turning his back on me once again. He's always been difficult to get to know emotionally so maybe the idea that I hurt his feelings is more in my own head than something that actually is possible. I have no idea what the difficulties are working with this man but even if I do die, it'll be better than trying to be some regular kid.

I've never been good at being normal anyhow.


	4. Chapter 4 - The Journey Starts

**AN:** This was a lot of fun for me to write so if there are people reading this, I hope you like this chapter as well.

 **Chapter Four: The Journey Starts**

Does it make me a complete jerk if I am happy to see the concern cross Bruce's face as I tell him that I'm going to be starting my probably insane journey with the king of crappy personalities. I know that I look as a teenager and I know how badly he felt about my death, that kind of layered responsibility but the fact is that I did let him down long ago. I died and I didn't come back completely sane. Maybe this is a way for making up for all that. Still, I am happy that he still appears to care for me.

"I'm off," I tell him and he turns to me before picking up a backpack, he hands it to me. Uh, thanks Bruce but I've already got money so I can buy stuff. Still, you can't turn down a gift from a man who is like a father figure to you no matter how disturbing the analogy. "What's this?"

"I'm not sending you out unprepared," Bruce tells me and I look at him curiously. "Everything in there has a use so do me a favor and don't throw it away. Are you sure you're going to be okay, Jason?"

I shrug, "I've done okay before if you don't mention…"

"We won't mention that," Bruce says and I see some distance in his eyes as if he's trying to put a wall up between this moment now and the moment when tragedy struck our partnership. I know seeing me like this can't be easy, he gets all those protective instincts back. As little as he cares about his own health, he definitely does care about the Robins and Batgirls of this world.

"So, take care of Alfred for me," I try and joke and he reaches out for me.

"Jason," he says slowly and I look at him. I'm not sure what to make of this behavior, it doesn't seem to be the usual sort of Batman behavior that I'm used to. Still, I don't want to be a brat. If Bruce is asking for me to give him my attention then I will give him my attention. "If you need anything or if you get hurt, please know that you can phone me, you can phone Alfred if you can't phone me or Dick."

"I'm okay," I whisper and Bruce puts a hand on the top of my head. This is his way of silently telling me that he loves me like any parent or big brother loves their relative. I give a slight chuckle and he frowns before ruffling my hair up.

"Okay, you go get them you damn kid," he says as he cracks a smile and I nod. "Jason, any time that you might need me, either with my cape or not." I know that he means it. This is more than the fact that I stopped _him_ from becoming a kid. Maybe he's never hated me even at the time I lost my own damn mind.

I nod to him before leaving to join Constantine. This will help me with my training if nothing else and damn it, I really need training again. Hopefully I'll complete this journey with him and come back able to put the hood on again no matter what age I am by that point.

…

…

At least the brat isn't running late, he's actually early but not so much that it gets annoying. I mean, if you can't go with the flow in life then you definitely need to knock back a few drinks. Even when time seems to be a necessity, you have to realize that it's either going to happen or not happen, no harder way than to struggle against the senselessness.

Okay, so maybe I do take too many breaks but it's easy when you don't really care about the mortal life.

I live for the thrill, the adrenaline in my lungs, my heart drumming in my ears and hopefully this kid is able to come along for the ride. It'll be annoying as heck if he slows me down. Still, another life is fun to travel with at times especially if I can sacrifice it for my own. Don't call me evil or a dick, I'm a strategist, a game-player and I usually come out okay in the end.

"You said your teary goodbyes, eh?" I ask him as I light up a cigarette and the kid stares at me.

"You care if I get one of those from you?" he asks. He hands out his hand expecting me to just give him one. Nah, these are mine kid. Grow up and buy some for your damn self. Hopefully this isn't a sign of how things are going to go with him.

"You smoke?" I ask him before holding the pack away from him. "Where did you learn a behavior like that? Tsk Tsk, not really appropriate for a teen is it?"

"You're saying that you didn't smoke before you were the age that I look?" he asks back and I sigh. Okay, I've been stealing these for as long as I can remember or wish to remember so the kid has a point but then again my parents never said, here John, light up.

"See, I'm trying a new angle here," I tell him as I roll my eyes. Time for the dramatics. "I'm supposed to look like a responsible adult and you're supposed to be some mild mannered teenager whose yet to experience puberty."

"Great, so you're an asshole too," he tells me and as I look at him, I know that he's been through more than enough of hell. Something major has happened to him. This kid isn't your usual brat but why should I care about that. I don't want to invest my time in sorting out someone else's issues. Nah. I need to get moving and get moving quickly, life's too short just to stand around in one place for too long.

"I can be whatever I want to be," I tell him and he scoffs. Now the thing is that I have to get this kid to help me 'cause I actually need to call in a few favors and go meet with a few other people. I sigh as I look at the door and glance behind me. Freaking Batman is standing there, watching me. That guy must realize how much of a command he has over others. Yeah, he has that sick smile of satisfaction on his face.

"I'm warning you, John," he says in his growl of a voice. Damn it. Why do they all feel this blasted need to be familiar and call me by my first name. Can't they be a gent, call me by the last name, it's so much cooler. "Anything happens to him and you'll have me to deal with."

I can tell that he's serious, that this kid is something special to him, probably some kind of trained Robin or what-not. I shrug but then see the kid smiling at this vigilante. What's with all this adoration crap? Not like there's people who give me the same treatment.

"Yeah, yeah" I tell him as I nod 'cause clearly there isn't another way to get around this. "Get this kid back in the same way you would with one of those rental cars, no broken bones, no dents in the boot, got it," I tell him and he frowns. Something else annoying old Batsy over here?

"I'd prefer you didn't smoke inside the house," he says and there's that sappy look between the two of them. I grab the boy by the arm and pull him outside. I take a drag of my cig.

"You enjoy that?" I ask him pointing my thumb back in the direction of the house and there's some disgusting sense of pride on the teen's face and if he's hoping to impress a parent. Wish I cared more about that.

"He's got his good side," the teen tells me and I sigh, pushing my hair back.

"Hope that's the same with everyone 'cause we'll be needing some help. I've got an old acquaintance that I need to visit, need to call in a few favors," I tell him and he looks at me. He nods, seemingly unphased. Okay, this one isn't a so-called monster but she's one of the toughest chicks that I've ever met.

"Whose first?" he asks me and I look at him with a grin.

"Zatanna."

 **End of Chapter Four**

 **Thank you for reading**


	5. Chapter 5 - Zatanna Zatara

**Chapter Five – Zatanna Zatara**

Yeah, what was I thinking trying to get this kid into this bar? He seems like a total novice plus his face pretty much screams, help I'm in the middle of friggen puberty. Maybe I shouldn't have brought him along but I need someone to tidy up the messes that I cause and I'm owed a favor. Shoulda stuck it out and blackmailed Grayson to come with but at least this wannabe-punk listens to orders.

I've asked him to stay outside and keep watch though with the beer in my hand, I don't have plans in playing the good big brother who picks up the kid any time soon. Not when I have to face her. Hate to say it but I'm not completely heartless and I can actually feel love in all of its sappiness. It's a headache and a major problem but that's the bloody problem with it as well. Zatanna Zatara is something else.

I put the beer to my lips and hear a cough as I see Zatanna there without her costume and bunny rabbit, she raises an eyebrow as if trying to read my mind. Heck, she probably can.

"Why are you here?" she asks me as if picking up some imaginary lint from the bar surface in front of me. Couldn't even let me drink a bloody pint before she had to come on her search. Nah, maybe I should be flattered. Obviously doesn't want to waste any time.

"Came looking for ya," I smile to her and she coughs. "I gotta go on this quest or something," I tell her and she still continues to study me. I'm not some primary school project that she can understand so much. I've come a long way and still she feels that she's more respected than I am.

"You didn't come very far," she tells me and I raise my glass to her.

"Come on," I grin to her, "Guys gotta finish his drink before coming looking for a girl," I tell her and see her focus on my beer. She _is_ gonna get let me drink it, right?

"Reta wot nrut reeb," she says and I groan as I look at the damn thing in my hand. Who would waste something as great as what I was holding. She looks at me with both suspicion and superiority. So what if she can try to give me a healthy lifestyle, doesn't mean I have to stick with it.

"You're a smart man, John," she tells me and I look her over. Okay. She obviously understands that I'm not some gutter scum and the kid probably is dying to meet her. I mean, she probably will wonder what the hell I'm doing with some tag-along brat. I'm ready to explain that I'm not babysitting and maybe some real world skills will complement my djin-fighting abilities.

"You're not alone are you?" she asks me and I shrug. I put the beer glass down and push a hand through my hair. She eyes me again before looking down and whispers, "Edistou" and I find us in front of the kid who seemed to expect for this to happen. Does this kid see things like this on a daily basis? Seriously? No reaction. Kid must be some kind of a robot.

…

…..

I have to get used to not being able to enter these types of places in the near future. There's a lot that I can't do as a kid and I have to try to get used to it. I know that Bruce wants to find some kind of a cure for it, he's probably analyzing it in the cave right now but I shouldn't hold my breath.

I have a lot of time to figure things out but I could use some help. I don't think that Constantine gives a damn about me. I think he only thinks of me as some kind of human tool that he can either use or sacrifice when the time calls for it. I wonder if Bruce would have any kind of reaction to him using me as a sacrifice. Maybe I'm judging him a little too harshly.

As I sit outside, I see a flash of smoke and see Zatanna standing there. Of course we've met before and I smile at her. I see Constantine looking at me as if I'm crazy to not have more of a reaction and I wonder who, out of the two of us, has seen crazier things up close. Zatanna seems to recognize me a little. She's smart though so it is possible, the face shape or maybe just those early pictures of me and Bruce. Yeah, that's a great way of hiding my identity to have pictures of myself in the media from all those years prior.

"You're too young," she says as she studies me and I shrug. I really don't want to tell Constantine that I made sure to save Bruce and this is the reward I get for it. I'm being too harsh. I'm really happy that Bruce is alive, I mean despite all the anger I'm feeling at not being able to enter a place where they sell alcohol, Bruce is always going to be very important to me.

"Well, yeah," Constantine shrugs, "but he's the one I'm getting to help me."

Zatanna sighs and shakes her head before she approaches me and studies me, she smiles before putting a hand out holding her wand. "Ega reporp ot egnahc." I'm not surprised when the spell doesn't work but she seems to be. I shrug and she looks between myself and Constantine. "Well that is disappointing," she says and I hear that blond haired idiot laughing.

"What did you think that it was going to do?" he asks and I guess he really doesn't get it. Still, Zatanna is much less self-involved than Constantine is and she looks at her old friend and old flame with a rather serious expression on her face.

"If you put him in danger, Bruce Wayne is going to kill you," she tells him and Constantine shrugs as if he doesn't believe that. Well, Bruce has a rule against killing and my death has happened before. It isn't the kind of thing he does. I shiver as I look down and Zatanna looks to me before turning to him. "Okay, maybe not kill you but you have to be careful with him."

"Sure, sure," Constantine says as he pulls out a cigarette and I look at her, she makes eye contact with me and I shake my head.

"It's okay, I'll be fine. Thank you for keeping things private," I tell her and she looks to me before crossing her arms and turns her attention back to him.

"So, what is it that the two of you want?" she asks and I wait, my eyes resting on Constantine.

"Well first let me dazzle you with my plan," he says with a lot less energy than is needed to deliver that line effectively. I stand. I know I should be listening to him but I don't really care. Whatever he wants me to do is fine. I walk over to a fountain nearby and study my reflection. I want to train my body and go back to being an outlaw and maybe I am using this event as a way to train my body whilst in action.

I sit down and pull out my phone. I'm tempted to get in contact with Bruce, talk to him and tell him that I'm doing okay but calling him so soon would be bothering him. Instead I dial someone who I wish I could treat like a brother but we have such history and distance between him. I turn off my caller ID but am comforted by his voice.

"Hello, Richard Grayson speaking," he says and I smile.

"Hey, Dick," I tell him and hear a strange relief in his voice. Don't tell me that he was worried for me as well.

 **End of Chapter Five**

 **Thank you for reading**


	6. Chapter 6 - Important Family Ties

**Chapter Six – Important Family Ties**

I prepare myself to get mocked about my new predicament but hopefully Dick has grown up since he was a kid. He's probably the most relatable of all of us and the one most like a big brother. Tim is, well Tim you can talk to but he's a bit more reserved. I don't know. I think that Dick just has what I need right now and that's advice and support.

"How are you feeling?" Dick asks me and I don't know how much of the truth it would be best to keep from him. Dick always had a way of seeing through my lies though, that's why he's known as the ultimate Robin and why I still feel that I could never match up to him. "I mean, I expect that there is some hardship of being considered a teenager again. I wouldn't want to go through it."

"Are you feeling sorry for me," I ask and Dick laughs.

"Do I _have_ to feel sorry for you?" he asks and that feels like the perfect response to me. Dick has his own problems and his own story as Nightwing, I don't want to burden him with the weight of my problems as well. The way that he can say that means that he trusts me and is acting as a big brother, a role that suits him perfectly despite his own big brother being dead.

"I'm traveling again," I tell him, "got a project I'm working on."

"I assume that Bruce knows about this," Dick says and I laugh gently. I should probably try to get a little more training in before I go with the horror show that's about to happen. Constantine usually gets himself into the middle of things either to find his end goal or he's dragged into it because of his big mouth.

"Kind of taken this one on for Bruce," I laugh and Dick groans.

"With his permission?" he asks. We both know how sensitive Bruce can be if somebody dares to act on his behalf without full consideration of what is happening. He's the Batman. That's the main focus of his life and neither Red Hood nor Nightwing can do what is Batman's job to Batman. Yes, I did just use that as a verb.

"Actually, this time, yeah," I reply and Dick sighs.

"If you have a break, come and see me okay? Maybe I can help you with some stuff. I wouldn't mind helping you with my knowledge, expertise, and athletic ability," he says and I close my eyes. I would want to be stronger. Out of all the things that I could wish for, my body being able to use the same techniques and skills with the same weight would be it. Age wouldn't matter if that was the case but I'm not at my best. All I can do is act like a bratty kid and try not to get under Constantine's nerves too much.

As I stay on the phone, I hear Constantine approaching me.

"You ruddy kid sure you're not going to slow us down?" he asks and I look up at him. I have a pretty good gut feelings that Dick has recognized the voice and it's starting to make sense to him what I'm undertaking. I don't know whether he would want for me to stop or not but it's not up to him. I don't think that Bruce would ever trust me to be a Robin again but that's fine with me. I'm my own thing. As much as I want to win Bruce's approval, if that doesn't happen then I'll live. I say goodbye to Dick and close the phone, my eyes challenging the blond Londoner.

…..

…

Zat seems to know the brat. I mean, maybe I should have done my research and not blackmailed Bruce Wayne so fast but the fact that Zatanna seems fully acquainted with someone so foolish annoys me a little bit. Yeah, this magician's daughter has told me that she's lost any trust that she had in me in the first place and for that reason we don't work well as a couple but the protectiveness over the kid makes me feel a bit jealous.

I turn to Zat and ask her in a way that should hide my feelings for her still, "What's up with you and the kid?"

She turns to me and laughs. "You really don't know much of anything, do you? I'm warning you, you hurt that boy or put him into any danger and you'll have a whole family to answer to. Even the black sheep deserves some love."

What the heck does she mean by that? Okay, maybe I know what a black sheep is because in any flock of sheep, I've always been the rebel, it's just my personality type but she seems awfully protective about this one. Who is he? Some former boyfriend of hers, I mean, I thought that Zatanna wouldn't dare think of herself as a pedophile but sometimes people have strong attractions. Is this boy from a famous family or something.

I see her looking at me as if I'm some kind of idiot. Just because I don't have them book smarts doesn't mean that I haven't taught myself everything that I need to know in life. Money might be able to afford a university experience and those fancy tutors and everything but life and experience teach you more than you'd ever pay to learn.

"He's a Robin," Zatanna finally tells me and I shrug. So what. I know that there's that superhero team, Batman and Robin, I haven't met anyone who _doesn't_ know of that arrangement but is it supposed to mean something special? Why should I care about that other than that makes the kid more useful to me. I mean all Robins are skilled in both defense and offense.

"Sure," I nod and she raises an eyebrow at me.

Zatanna looks to me and I see that she's almost given up on me. She must think that I'm stupid or something but just because I want things to be done easily and quickly doesn't mean I'm stupid. A bit lazy? Sure. We can go with a bit lazy but not stupid.

"He usually covers his face, bit older than he looks right now, I'm not giving you any other clues so be prepared to figure it out for yourself," Zatanna tells me and I look towards the kid studying him a bit more. There are a lot of people who do that and I know for dead sure that this kid isn't Richard Grayson. First off, that's someone who I will never have access to and second, that is someone I know how he looks and it ain't like this.

"Whatever," I shrug, it's not important anyway. The most important part is that he's skilled and that he can be pushed to greater limits but I'm not one to dwell on the past. I turn to him and see him on the phone. The brat wants to contact his gang or whatever, this isn't the time for this. I take out a cigarette before staring at him.

He ends the call quickly.

"You know magic?" I ask him as I let my teeth play around with the lighted stick. He shakes his head, looking at me as if I've just stopped the plans for his wild frat boy night. It's teens like this that really piss me off, those entitled types, you know. "Well we're gonna have to teach you."

"Teach me?" the kid asks and Zat rolls her eyes before putting a hand to his shoulder.

"I'll teach him, you do whatever you need to do," she says and the kid looks up at her. I'm sure that Zat knows more than to have a heart to heart with the kid. Maybe it's some kind of teacher-student relationship between them. I don't know. Maybe Zatanna is testing me, testing how attracted I am to her, who knows. I laugh as I turn from them. Who needs them, the teacher has left the building and the sub is there to replace him.

"I'm gonna go take a nap," I stretch out before looking at them again, "He better know a ton before I come back. I'm trusting you with this. It's an important job that we have to do."

"Sure," she smiles at me, "You're going to take a nap," she says and I'm about to argue with her but she stares at me. "peels llaf"

Bugger! I feel my body hit the ground, at least I'm gonna get some rest as the pavement sticks to my face.

 **End of Chapter Six**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**


	7. Chapter 7 - Energy and Loneliness

**Chapter Seven – Energy and Loneliness**

The kid has friends and a decent family. I mean, I probably should feel grateful that I don't carry that baggage around with me. Lord knows that the day Bruce Wayne feels sorry for me is going to be the day that hell freezes over. I kind of thought that day had already come at least once though. I take another chug of my beer. I'm overthinking things as usual but darn, that kid has got me upset but maybe it's because of Zat paying him attention.

Have I wanted her attention? I certainly don't think I've begged for it but does she expect _me_ to beg for her attention. She's attractive and beautiful and talented but I should be getting her affection. When have I ever been more than a friend or casual lover to her and I don't think that's my fault.

I prefer it here anyway. There's good beer and I don't have to make dumb conversation when I'm the only person around. Yeah, life is probably better taking it easy. I doubt that kid has ever taken it easy. I bet he's never enjoyed those parts of life where you have to just lean back and try to enjoy life with a beer and a good soak in the tub.

Yeah, the kid has some maturing to do and it involves that fact that he's not easy on himself and I don't think Zatanna is the best mentor to stop that. Have I made a mistake bringing that kid with me? I didn't need company on this trip but sometimes four hands are better than two. Is the brat just going to slow me down?

I guess I have to figure these things out. I slap some money down to pay for the drinks and start to walk towards where we're spending the night. I hope the brat knows how to rest and get some sleep, I don't want to be dragging around some collapsed corpse for an unknown length of time.

As I approach where he is supposed to be, I hear somebody pull up on a bike and it's a pretty sweet ride. This guy knows what he's doing. He's pretty skilled too. Wonder if the thing is worth stealing or if I'll get my ass kicked for even trying. I stand and stare at it and then see the rider get off. I've seen his face before, he's a bit of a legend.

Richard Damn Grayson.

I see him approach me and the guy looks a little upset, pissed off. Seems he's got a warning for me but do I actually have to feel threatened by someone like him. He's Bruce Wayne's right hand man, isn't he? Do I have to rely on that?

"Is Jason around?" he asks and I shrug, who knows where that kid went. "Well you're here so I have the feeling that he's around."

"What do you want with that brat anyway? Damn kid's a nuisance. I'm better off without him." I want for Grayson to believe me on this but he looks doubtful. He's really going to favor some teen when I'm standing right here in front of him. So now there's two overgrown kids who don't know how to deliver proper respect.

"I'll find him," Grayson says before walking away from me. I look at the bike. If I made my getaway on that thing then I wouldn't need the kid. I'd have something even more valuable. "Don't touch it," he warns me and I wonder who this boy scout really thinks he is to be threatening me like this. Sure, now I _want_ to touch it even more.

As he walks away, I reach for the seat and feel an electrical shock. What kind of security did that man put on this?

…..

…..

Though my aim is still okay, my kicks and punches don't pack the strength that they used to. If Artemis saw me in this way then she'd laugh at how weak I am. I don't ask for much but I'm an outlaw, I'm supposed to be able to take better care of myself than this. I try to strike the air again and I just feel as if I'm a Robin again and not a very skilled one at that. I have to get better, tougher, faster.

I hear the door unlocked and wonder if it's Constantine. I'm kind of getting sick of the disrespect that he shows me but I've had worse. I stand as I watch the door. If it's not him then this guy is pretty good at breaking and entering.

I watch and it's not him but I know I shouldn't have questioned the skills of the man in front of me. I blink, how could he find me like this. Did Bruce send him? "Dick?" I ask as I study him and he laughs a little. Is he mocking me?

"Damn, keep forgetting how much a kid you are," he winks and I sigh, rolling my eyes due to my frustration. So what if I'm a kid. It's not like I asked for this and wouldn't it be worse were Bruce to be the teenager.

"I'm sure if it was you then there would be no problem having the boy wonder rise again," I comment and Dick shrugs.

"Who knows, you have more street fighting experience than I do," he tells me which is a lie. He's been in this game for longer than I have. He's just attempting to hand me a compliment and I can see through his crap. Still, it would be pretty cool to spar with him. "I wanted to check up on you. That phone call…"

"You told Bruce didn't you?" I sigh and Dick looks at me confused. Of course he'd report it to the head honcho, he's in Bruce's pocket more than anyone. I'm not surprised either. He is a boy scout with some cheesy catchphrases.

"Sometimes developing skills is better when you have someone who knows what you're capable of," he tells me and I stare at him. Did he come all of this way just to train me? I freeze. Bruce must have sent him, whether or not he talked to him about the phone call is irrelevant. Dick didn't come here all on his own free will and good intentions. Why would he help me?

"You know, you could be grateful," he chuckles and I don't see the humor in the situation that he does. "I did break my back trying to find out where you were. Now, you want to show me your skillset?" he asks and I sigh.

"Probably shouldn't talk about the back breaking around Bruce," I try to advise him. It would be a bit uncool if he did since Bruce has actually sustained physical injuries that I would have trouble facing myself let alone recovering from.

"Bruce isn't here," Dick reminds me and I truly do wonder why he's here. We have a bond like brothers but I'm that black sheep of the family, the outcast who doesn't even belong in a damn portrait, I'm the embarrassment that they want to cleanse themselves of.

"Why the hell would you want to help me anyway?" I ask and Dick comes nearer to me placing a hand on my shoulder.

"We're still a family. I know the pain of losing my family and then certain members of my second family. I'm here now and I've given up my own time so that I can train you. You want me to leave?" he asks as he points a thumb behind him and gestures to the door. "I can leave right now if that's what you want."

"Well," I hesitate. I don't want to tell him how thankful I am that he decided to come to see me, that he's willing to help me become the man that I once was. He still feels like a big brother to me and after all of the crap that I've put them all through, the way that they are still there for me is touching. "I mean you came all of this way. I better show my gratitude somehow."

Dick smiles at me before looking around, "Let's get something to eat first," he suggests and I nod. I don't have the same diet of beer and cigarettes that Constantine has but as a Robin I didn't eat much anyway unless I could see Bruce doing so. I always wondered how a man could eat so little and have so much energy.

"Why?" I ask and Dick shares a look with me before shaking his head.

"Because I'm not Bruce," he says and I laugh back. It's something that we've always joked about but I know that Alfred only half laughs at jokes like that.

 **End of Chapter Seven**

 **Thank you for reading**


	8. Chapter 8 - I Really Don't Care

**AN:** Sorry if the characters seem OOC. I need to really refresh my knowledge of Jason (my joint favorite Robin with Dick) and Constantine. Fortunately I have some comics about them, just need to find the time to read them 😊

 **Chapter Eight – I really don't care**

I don't know why that guy doesn't eat, okay, he probably does eat between the smoking and the drinking and it's only at this age where I'm restricted from those vices that I feel judgmental. I turn to Dick who has ordered for the both of us. This guy never gets the credit which he deserves. He likes to help others, has an optimistic humorous attitude even at the worst of times, and is so much more sociable and approachable than either Bruce or myself.

I sigh as I stare at the table but he tilts his head examining me. Neither of us are speaking but it's okay. Dick is the kind of person who can read you just from your body language.

"Not so much fun being a kid again, is it?" Dick finally asks and I sigh. I have horrible memories from being younger, lured into a trap, killed, facing all that anger without an outlet when I returned. I guess that Bruce only let me back into his family because he felt that I needed to keep his secret. He says he's proud of me, that he trusts my ability, that he's looking out for me but does he honestly care about me to the same degree that he does for Tim and Dick.

"You could say that, everyone underestimates you," I tell him and Dick sighs.

"How about you look at that part from a different perspective," Dick suggests and I raise my head to look at him. The age gap between the two of us is catching me off guard. He doesn't only seem to be someone I look up to as a fellow former-Robin but he definitely is filling the role of the big brother type. "People are underestimating you but you still have your mind from when you were older, your intellect, your strategic thinking. I know that you do. You can do things that people aren't expecting."

"I think I'll leave the element of surprise alone for now," I mutter as the waitress brings us out a burger and fries, same thing for both of us but of course I let Dick choose. Comfort food. He bought me comfort food and it doesn't look strange being a kid and eating this. That Constantine guy wouldn't put much faith in this type of meal. "I much prefer getting up close and personal with my fists."

"Let's see how that works out for you," Dick says as he takes a bite of the food. I know what he's saying. When I was older, I had a well-toned muscular body that I had trained with weeks-worth, probably months-worth of working out. I was an anti-hero who was a chaotic personality type although my allegiance is more of neutral bordering on good. I'm still mentally the same way but I'm a joke compared to my former self.

I sigh and Dick looks out the window. Is he that bored by the discussion already?

"Jason," he says and I stare at him, this time making direct eye contact. "Bruce is thankful to you for making this sacrifice. If it wasn't for you then he would be a much younger version of himself and things would unravel quickly. You know that he's the center of our family, without him it would be much harder to keep control."

"You've done it before," I reply, "when his back was broken. What's to…"

"It's not that I can't but I've built a life for myself as someone else. I just think that you need to consider the good that you've done. You often seem to forget that or take it for granted."

I roll my eyes. Of course I don't think of the good they think I've done. I've always felt completely unwanted as a Robin. When I became an outlaw, when the family closed their doors to me, people started paying me more attention but I am still considered the bad guy, the black sheep. If I hadn't taken this sacrifice then would Bruce even give a damn about me? It's a question that I keep challenging myself on.

"You never cared about me before," I tell him, now turning to look out of the window. Most likely Dick thinks that I'm selfish. He's always seeing a strange sense of beauty in the world, a goodness of human kind.

" _I_ never cared," Dick says with an accusing look. I sigh. I know that he cares. I wasn't talking about him. Dick cares about everyone despite the fact that he seems to act like a target to get crapped on. I feel sorry for him. He's been through so much and at the same time, he's still considerate and hopeful that things will get better. Why hasn't he been through something where he can just say screw all of you for treating me this way all these years? I'm not referring to his fight with Bruce where he became Nightwing.

"You know I don't mean you," I tell him and look down with a smile, "It's a shame I can't tag along with you instead but you fly solo."

"Complete this task for Bruce and we'll discuss it. I just hope that we find you a cure before then," he says and I look at him before bowing my head gratefully. Hopefully he will let me join with him. It would definitely be better than being stuck with _that guy_.

…

…..

That brat doesn't know what is good for him. I could have lived a hundred lives and not in one of them would I have been as pampered as he is. Well, he has to learn that we have to be up early in the morning no matter how much alcohol is consumed. He thinks that he can just let that preppy Richard treat him as a prince. It's brats like him that make me sick about the world.

"Are you going to treat him like crap?" Zat asks me as she stands in the doorway. I look at her with a roll of my eyes. Is everyone going to feel sorry for that kid. He was handed to me for a reason and if I get people angry at me for him getting himself killed then that's unfair. He should at least learn to cope with danger.

"I treat everyone the same," I shrug as I throw my trench over the chair. I reach for another cigarette, at least the brat doesn't comment on my smoking. It's princes like Grayson who need to be pampered. I mean, you don't see me being let into a big house with the only trouble being my family of circus performers murdered.

"I know that," Zatanna says as she crosses her arms over her chest. "You know you're going to get blamed by a lot of people if you let him get hurt."

"You want me to put a pillow and mattress out at every sign of danger, forget it," I tell her and she puts a hand against the door. There's something that she's not telling me and I'm sick of being kept in the dark. I'm supposed to be the one who is planning out this training course. I'm supposed to be the one giving orders not that brat. My life doesn't revolve around him but hell, he should follow my lead without question.

"Bruce is thinking about coming to talk to you," Zat comments and I shake my head with a disgust in my eyes.

"He can't do anything," I tell her. "I've got a binding verbal contract with him. He can't just pull that kid away from me, not when he could make an excellent sacrifice if we run into, you know, _that kind_ of trouble.

 **End of Chapter Eight**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**


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